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Greetings, and welcome to a special edition of The Wolfies - more specifically The Wedding Wolfies. The Wolfies were created by a creative, albeit devious mind (okay, I created them) at the first TTP three long years ago. During that first weekend many of the actions of the BB/N's cried out for notice. I obliged. Of course, some Broads didn't realize they were being noticed, didn't realize copious notes were being taken, didn't realize I had BBS's (Board Broad Spies.) Everyone knows now. Lol. ;-) The sole purpose of The Wolfies is to make us remember good times and laugh while we're doing it. They are a light-hearted look at some of our antics when we get together. Since there are more BB/N's than ever before, I rely on others for nominations (well, the way it really works is ... you nominate someone - THEY WIN! lololol)
The wedding weekend definitely cried out for some Wolfies. So here they are: THE BROADMOBILE AWARD - Congratulations, Di (Disambear) Who knew when you totaled your other vehicle, you'd pick out the perfect van to haul BB/N's to and fro. Thanks!
Diane also wins THE BEST SPORT AWARD - See Di. See Di tipsy. See Wym blindfold Tipsy Di so she can play Pin the Macho on The Stud. See Wym gently spin Di and then point her toward Mr. Macho. See Di head for the closed motel room door where the Mr. Macho poster hangs. See Evil Little Tracey OPEN the door. See Di head outside. See BB/N's HOWL with laughter. Evil Evil Evil. Lolol.
THE HOLY BRA BATMAN! AWARD - We BB/N's never knew how important, no make that imperative, it was to own a bra for every day of the week, plus more bras just in case you needed them. NancyD (ND4OLDIES) set us straight. Or lifted us up. Or strapped us in. Stopped us from floppin'. We now know the error of our ways.
THE "YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT" AWARD - Most rocket scientists don't choose to work at a fast food restaurant. We have found this also to be true of motel employees. Please relive with me the moment when the Groom arrives at the motel to pick up his key from Brunnhilde The Motel Clerk (we have no idea what her real name was) Brunnhilde: Hellooooo Keith: Hi ... Keith Ahlstrom Brunnhilde: Keith Ahlstrom? No, he's not here yet. Keith: ??????????? Eventually Brunnhilde gave the Groom his key. :-)
THE BEST NEW NICKNAME AWARD - This may lose something in the translation but I'll try my best. Diane (Anonym2857) has this bag. We're beginning to think it's a magic bag because whenever someone needed something, ANYTHING, Diane would reach into her satchel and out would come the requested item. So ... we started joking that Diane was always ready - which we erroneously thought was the motto for the Marines (it sort of belongs to the Boy Scouts - Be Prepared) Of course, we now realize the Marine motto is Semper Fi (short for Semper Fidelis) which means always faithful. But it was too late. After a few days of Diane coming up with a thermometer and antiseptic wipes for it, handi-wipes, floss, a flashlight, Tagament, plastic bags galore - ziplock and non ziplock, little bags and bags big enough to hold wine bottles, a pretty red book bag to hold other purchases, a AAA battery ... and God knows what else, the nickname was written in stone. She is our rock. Just ask for something and it shall be yours. Hail to SEMPER DI and her Magic Bag.
THE "IT"S JUST NOT A PEN" AWARD - While his future Bride bought a stuffed "Arthur," and some pretty decorations, Groom Keith plunked down money for a VIBRATING PEN. Oh sure, he says it's for headaches (just aim the tip at your temple and the pain lessens) but you NEVER give a Broad anything that vibrates and expect her to use it in the manner for which it was made! Sheeesh! What was he thinking? ( thanks, Keith ;-)
THE POLTERGEIST AWARD - I kid you not, Tracey (TraceyOD) and Wym's room was possessed. We secured the chain on the hotel room door before we went to sleep. In the morning a loud knock on the door woke us up (thanks to non-tipsy Di who was getting back some of her own! lol) I jumped out of bed, when to the door and COULDN'T GET THE CHAIN OFF. The chain was now smaller than it had been the night before. I opened the door a crack and explained to Di that we were being held hostage by ghosts. Tracey tried to get the damn chain off, too. One minute before we were going to call maintenance to come over with a buzz saw, the chain slipped off easily. ???? We still don't understand what happened. Don't wanna know. We didn't use the chain again.
THE WALKING WOUNDED AWARDS ... so many of these we gave them their own category. GRAND PRIZE goes to SEMPER Di! SEMPER !Di ... By now many of you have seen pictures of poor Diane's widdle stapled head. Pictures speak a thousand words. FIRST PRIZE ... Tracey who did a lovely HALF GAINER WITH A TWIST OFF THE RIM OF THE TUB AWARD and ended up with a HUGE bruise on her leg. SECOND PRIZE ... Groom Keith who leaned over and then stood up forgetting that the TV shelf was under his head! The result ... a HUGE bump and a headache ... no wonder he needed that pen! HONORABLE MENTION ... Wym nearly took a header in the tub after Tracey but, able to rely on old gymnastic instincts, she threw arms out and prevented major slippage.
THE PRETTIEST HAIR DO, THE PRETTIEST DRESS, MOST PHOTOGENIC, MOST PHOTOGRAPHED, MOST GLOWING ... Hell, MOST EVERYTHING AWARD goes to The Bride, Lisa (Enseno) ... who is now officially A WIFE - let us pray!
THE MOST COVETED HAT AWARD goes to Tracey (TraceyOD) who looked sooooooo cute in her little floppy denim hat. In fact, she had the only hat, but no one looked that cute in it.
THE LIVING UP TO THE LEGEND AWARD ... PC (Prince Charming, JJ's dh) deserves this award as the BB/N's did think that though it's very difficult to live up to a Prince Charming reputation, PC did so without blinking an eye ... well, except when he was winking at his beloved.
The "THAT CAT IS GONNA LIKE ME DAMMIT" Award goes to NancyO (Ottis 5) who wouldn't give up trying to make nice with Lisa's kitty, Copper. I think she finally won the feline over. Nance also gets the "HEY GANG, LET'S HAVE A PLAN" AWARD . Whenever our minds would stray (which was often) Ottis would bring us back to reality with her favorite four letter word ... P L A N. It always worked. :-)
THE "SO SWEET TOGETHER IT PUTS SUGAR TO SHAME AWARD" goes to PC and JJ. I wish ALL married couples treated each other with the same love, respect, and lustfulness that these two do. Maybe we should make it the Blueprint For Marriage Award - of course, they've had 30+ years to practice.
JJ (Frolic1313) gets the "I'M EXHAUSTED SO WHERE'S THE PARTY AWARD." Even after flying in from California, then driving in the pouring rain (well, PC was driving which makes things even MORE hectic) she was still willing to jump into all the game playing with both eyes wide opened ... well, until she was so tired she had to go to bed. And she made us all laugh which is very very important to the BB/N's. So, she also gets the ...
"WELCOME TO AMERIKA, COMRADE" AWARD ... JJ and I have been friends for years and years. When we get together we have this tendency to slip into accents and carry complete conversations as if we were from anywhere other than the US. In Illinois we made the Broads giggle when we were Irish for a wee bit of time. But at the pool we were from Russia ... pearhaps from svimming team visiting United States . Da, this is true. We have wonderful time vith female comrades.
THE ROVING HANDS AWARD goes to the Groom ... who is now The Husband (let us pray!) Once that little devil said I do it was okay to pat Wymzee on the behind! Ohhhh <gigglegigglegiggle> Stop that right now. I've know you since you were in your twenties. Why I'm old enough to be your ... older sister. Hmmmm. Okay, just once.
THE YOU SAID WHAT?!? AWARD goes to me. Well, I did ask Police person Derek if he had a gun. ;-) A very nice gun.
THE POOL SLUT AWARD - We have just GOT to keep NancyD away from those pool jets ... or at least get her to SHARE!!!!
The award CHILDHOOD MEMORIES goes to Tracey and Wym who tried to start a game of chicken in the pool. Until PC bet he could lift both of us. NO WAY!!!! My good friend's husband was NOT getting between my legs in any way, shape or form!!
The "WE HAVE TO STOP MEETING LIKE THIS BECAUSE WHEN WE PART IT BREAKS MY HEART" AWARD goes to all the BB/N's who have to move to California because I just don't do "sad." :-(
That's the lot of them, ladies. For those coming to TTP 3 be prepared to report. I'll be the one with a foreign accent carrying a notebook. LOL. For those of you who will be keeping the home fires burning, please feel free to "tattle" on any and all posters. The Wolfies know no limits. Take care. Be Well. Kisses on your heads. Wym |
ADWOFF > NEWSLETTERS > EDITION #11 > LISA'S WEDDING > PHOTO ALBUM
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