Writing the last Wyt & Wyzdom of the 90's is a daunting task. Not as daunting perhaps as writing a last Will & Testament (why, who would I leave my complete Nora Roberts collection to?) but daunting nonetheless. I could write about Santa Claus. I'm a card-carrying believer you see. So I could write something new, fresh. Something daring. Something along the lines of ... Ho Ho Ho - Unlocking The Secret Language of Santa Claus. Nah. Does anyone really want to hear about a happily married fat guy who hangs out with elves? And no one would forgive me if I wrote a scathing expose ... Santa Claus: You Can't Tell The Size of a Man's Penis by The Number of Reindeer on his Roof. Okay, Santa's out. Let's see. Some say you should write what you know. I could write about the trauma of moving and remodeling. <sigh> Nope. It appears that I'm still immersed in that particular trauma and frankly, I'm not finding any part of it the least bit amusing. Scratch idea #2 There's always the coming Millennium and my New Year's Resolutions! Or how about my nearly 30 years of marriage to Banker. Lolol ... don't worry. I'm yawning right along with you. The fact is I am my wyt's end. That's awfully scary because when one's wyt goes what's left? Well, yes. Sex. There's always sex. And chocolate. And copious amounts of food. One must never forget the Board Broads' staples of good living. And, of course, there are Nora's books. Oh my God, THAT'S IT! A flash of wyzdom. The answer is sitting right in front of my rapidly aging, round little face. How many times have I desperately searched for answers to seemingly unanswerable questions only to discover that all the secrets to life are sitting on my bookshelf? Yes. It's true. And the wonder of this particular kind of magic is that it works for everyone. Just stand in front of your bookshelves, close your eyes, ask a question and reach. Voila, the answer is in your hand! It doesn't matter what the question is or how you interpret the answers you receive. Or don't ask a question at all. Merely seek your own wyzdom. Look for gentle and wymzical inner truths that will get you through the daily challenge of living. And trust me ... the truths are there. You just have to be believe in the magic. Go ahead. Take a leap into thin air and accept the answers. Don't delay. Get thee to thy bookshelves and reach. In the meantime, I'll just jot down a few of the mindboggling truths that were sitting on my bookshelf. A list of Wymzee's Incredibly Strange Secrets For Livin' A Magical Life. So, with a tiny apology to author Robert Fulghum ... ALL I EVER WANTED TO KNOW I LEARNED ... FROM NORA ROBERTS BOOKS Don't waste your time looking for A MAN FOR AMANDA. Spend it looking for a man of your own. But while out looking remember that you don't need a man to complete you. Sure, they're nice to have around, but you're a complete person all by yourself. The finest IRISH THOROUGHBRED I've ever seen had no thoroughbred lines ... a wild Connemara pony roaming free in a desolate field of western Ireland. Moral: You don't need fancy papers to be winner. Fill your head with BLITHE IMAGES and sexy men. It will keep a smile in your heart and one on your face. Always keep a song in your heart. Doesn't matter if it's a SONG OF THE WEST, the east, the north, or the south. Just keep singing. Music heals. A SEARCH FOR LOVE is never wasted, even if the search turns up empty. Create an ISLAND OF FLOWERS, and then plunk yourself right down in the middle and start petaling. It's good exercise. FROM THIS DAY forward believe in miracles. Trust that the biggest miracle is you. A brand new baby L'hoeste monkey was born at the zoo last weekend. HER MOTHER'S KEEPER, Stan, said she's doing well. Who needs pandas when one can have monkeys? Don't waste precious time obsessing about looks. Having UNTAMED hair is a great start to freeing the soul. Every STORM WARNING should be heeded, but not every warning need create a storm. I think I've always had a secret desire to be SULLIVAN'S WOMAN. Or anyone Irish, or Scottish for that matter. I ended up Banker's woman. Now if I could just get him into a kilt. When you share yourself you become LESS OF A STRANGER. Take a chance. Lead me not into TEMPTATION ... on second thought, please do! Don't let your significant other play tennis. Women traipse around in very short skirts and use the word Love a lot. You might wake up one morning, all alone, because your fella is out clay COURTING CATHERINE. Accepting the "real" you is THE HEART'S VICTORY. REFLECTIONS merely show surface things. Dig deeper for the truth. DANCE TO THE PIPER and dance a DANCE OF DREAMS. Magic is always moving. Trust your FIRST IMPRESSIONS, but never be so rigid as to not allow them to change. You can't convince me that THE LAW IS A LADY. We'd never screw up so much! OPPOSITES ATTRACT. 'Nuf said. PLAYING THE ODDS can be an interesting road to new experiences or bundles of money. Try TEMPTING FATE too often and you'll wind up with coal in your stocking. Imagine ALL THE POSSIBILITIES. ONE MAN'S ART is another man's music. SUMMER DESSERTS are best eaten in winter to help remember warm times. Let opening your heart become SECOND NATURE. I found my new very best friends ONE SUMMER weekend in Maryland. Life is constantly throwing out hints of how to live well. It's your job to make sure they are LESSONS LEARNED and to let them guide your heart. A WILL AND A WAY will lead you to the end of the rainbow. Don't expect a pot of gold. The journey is the treasure. FOR NOW, FOREVER ... The Broads & Brats rule - but never each other! If you've the chance to meet a LOCAL HERO, do so. Bring him cookies. I may not be THE LAST HONEST WOMAN, but God knows I try. Beauty's only SKIN DEEP. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beauty's only SKIN DEEP ... oh yeah. Everybody sing! A generation spent years LOVING JACK Kennedy. Oh, how we love our flawed heroes. The BEST LAID PLANS of anyone can go wrong - allow yourself to fail now and then and make sure to treat yourself gently in the aftermath. Ever walk into the open arms of someone who loves and accepts you? Isn't that THE WELCOMING of a lifetime? Hold the memory close. Never cage a wild animal and name it Natasha. Why? Well, because it's wild, and it would be unfair TAMING NATASHA. Never allow friendships to vanish WITHOUT A TRACE. FOR THE LOVE OF LILAH sounds catchier than, "For the love of Pete!" I'm using that expression next time I feel exasperated. There are men on the Internet and walking the streets that take pleasure in their attempts at LURING A LADY. Be smarter than them. Be patient. Don't listen to the words. Pay attention to the actions. I've been CAPTIVATED. I've been CHARMED. I've been ENTRANCED. But I'd much rather be ENCHANTED and believe in the magic. I think the final "Friends" episode should have everyone (Ross, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe and Joey) FALLING FOR RACHEL ... but she ends marrying Tom Selleck's dentist character. It would probably be a waste of time and energy CONVINCING ALEX Trebek that he's a pompous ass. Allow yourself a healthy dose of pretend. Take a hot bath and await THE RETURN OF RAFE MACKADE. Or imagine yourself a siren causing THE FALL OF SHANE MACKADE. Be the HEART OF DEVIN MACKADE for a night or make believe that your eleven children are THE PRIDE OF JARED MACKADE. Okay, maybe not so many kids. Never stop WAITING FOR NICK. St. Nick, that is. Keep believing. Why is it that THE WINNING HAND always seems to be wrapped in the other guy's fingers? Accept losing. It's not hard to be THE PERFECT NEIGHBOR. Do unto others ... Tell someone you love them every day. And then at night do it again - ONCE MORE WITH FEELING. TONIGHT AND ALWAYS wysh on the first star you see. Dreams come true. Consider each new day THIS MAGIC MOMENT and cherish it well. Life is continuous growth. Never stop learning. Respect your ENDINGS AND BEGINNINGS and keep moving forward. How you live your life, how you treat others, is A MATTER OF CHOICE. Don't screw up. Always play by THE RULES OF THE GAME no matter what the game is. THE RIGHT PATH is the one that takes you where you need to be, not necessarily where you want to go. Think of your friends as PARTNERS for life. Nourish them, respect them, and don't cheat them. BOUNDARY LINES between states, between countries, aren't meant to keep Board Broads apart. Don't display a DUAL IMAGE to the world. Be the REAL you the first time. THE ART OF DECEPTION will come back and bite you in the butt, as well it should. At least once in your life have an AFFAIRE ROYALE, even if its with your spouse or life in general. Each day can be filled with TREASURES LOST, TREASURES FOUND. Open yourself to the experience, good or bad. Something is always there to be learned. Life is very much a RISKY BUSINESS. That's what makes it exciting. Losing weight is NOT a simple case of MIND OVER MATTER. Think healthy and relax. Meeting with prospective in-laws is like a COMMAND PERFORMANCE, except you don't have to curtsy or call them, "your Majesties." Well, not until AFTER the wedding. Let's hope William doesn't become THE PLAYBOY PRINCE of England but the pride of England. Learn the words to some Irish songs like My Wild IRISH ROSE and Danny Boy. You never know when you might find yourself in an Irish pub with the desire to sing and dance a jig. THE NAME OF THE GAME is kindness. I believe in guardian angels. But does an archangel get one, too? I mean who was appointed GABRIEL'S ANGEL? TIME WAS you thought you had all the time in the world ... but TIMES CHANGE. Don't panic. Embrace the change. When the babies come along, make sure the husband takes a NIGHT SHIFT feeding. Even if you're breast feeding. No reason the guy can't wake up and bring YOU the baby. He should be part of it all. Don't be afraid of the dark. With a NIGHT SHADOW to guide you, you can always find the night rainbow. Dream yourself into a historical novel. Give yourself a new name. You are about to be ravished by the love of your life ... a pirate, a sheik, a Highland laird. Your novel? SUZANNA'S SURRENDER. Of course, we know in reality the surrender is HIS.