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Well, hello there everyone! Bookie is back, and
Bookie has so much gossip she doubts she will be
able to fit it all into the measly little space the
bossy, I mean boss lady gives to Bookie. The event
of the Board Broad season has come and gone giving
all of us lots of juicy things to talk about, some
true, some not so true. Well, Bookie was at there,
and she has all the dirt to dish and isn’t afraid
to do so.
Bookie was distressed to see that a certain
petite red-headed author type lady has some very
risqué pictures up in her husband’s
bookstore. Bookie saw one of her in a slinky black
dress that showed way too much cleavage and lots of
leg. Now, Bookie thinks this queen broad looks
great in that dress, but REALLY, does she think
that jewelry and those shoes go with it? Good
taste, Nora, is NOT all in your mouth, you know.
And speaking of jewelry, Ms. Goddess of Love,
Bookie wonders where her little trinket was. YOU
know, the little something that you always give to
your friendly gossip lady so that she has nice
things to say about you? Bookie is not very pleased
with that, but understands that it was just an
oversight, and will be checking the mail daily.
Bookie was also disturbed to see there was no
picture of Bookie in the bookstore! Okay, so Morgan
Fairchild is a star, but does she warrant all the
bulletin board space. Surely there must be a little
corner of space that could be just for Bookie!
And who was that handsome bookseller that made
all of the board broads swoon? Bookie has it from
reliable sources that his photo exhibit was a huge
success, thrilling both the local public and the
visiting board broads. But we also hear he ran
screaming from the room when some of the broads
offered to pose nude for him. Now, if that had been
Bookie offering, you know he would have jumped at
the chance.
Now, Bookie was pleased to see Broads of all
ages partaking in all the TTP fun. But it seems to
Bookie that the youngest Broad had just a little
too much fun, if you get Bookie’s drift. Body art
and champagne and behind the scenes dirt about the
authors, not to mention regular sex from her new
husband. Good thing Bookie likes this Broad, or she
just might have to start spreading some SERIOUS
gossip about her.
Bookie hears that a certain bookstore employee
had to wash AND scrub the windows to her bookstore
in order to get the time off to do the TTP
festivities this year, and that when it’s time for
a certain petite red-headed author to come sign at
that same bookstore that same employee has to not
only vacuum, but DUST the books AND clean the fish
tank. Bookie wonders if the bookstore owner is
aware that these skills are not in the repertoire
of home management skills that this particular
broad possesses?
Bookie also hears that this same broad and her
sister were seen sneaking out of their hotel room
and looking for the local basketball team to play a
little "one on one". Seems one of the sisters
"played" so hard, she rubbed her new tattoo right
off her ankle!
Speaking of the sister, the rumors are that she
was mesmerized by the battlegrounds in Gettysburg,
thrilling to the sounds of battle on audiotape. But
Bookie hears that he biggest thrill was being
locked in a store room with a trusty park ranger at
the visitor's center. It's the quiet ones who
really have the most fun, Bookie thinks.
The California Broad had herself a mighty fine
time the first night in the hot tub. Something
about a hump in the tub. Now, Bookie did not
partake of the fun that night, but it’s said that
this broad was calling out shamelessly for a Julian
while searching for a particularly powerful jet.
Shameless, Bookie says, Shameless! And worse yet,
rumor has it that this same broad was taking notes
for a future fictionalized version of the event. Of
course, if it is dedicated to Bookie, then all is
well.
And speaking of the young board Brawn, just who
was it that propositioned this young stud? Not
Bookie, that is for sure! It seems that Bookie was
the last to talk with this stud muffin, and J
confessed that he had been waiting for a REAL woman
to "come" to the phone all night, but by then he
was just exhausted. Well, he didn’t stay tired for
long! Bookie doesn’t like to brag, but she does
know how to talk to a man to bring out the best in
him.
Everyone is buzzing about a certain soon to be
middle aged broad who shamelessly flirted with and
KISSED the young and handsome Jason, son of Nora.
Poor Jason was said to stoically put up with this
flirting, and it is rumored that he has asked his
mother to please kill off this broad in her next
book. Nora may not do that, but Bookie hears that
next year she IS putting her sons behind bullet
proof glass to keep this broad at arm and lip’s
length.
And what about the broad who owns a hot tub and
a bookstore shamelessly getting all those tired
weary ladies so drunk they couldn’t even hold their
champagne glasses in the hot tub? Word is that her
handsome Doctor husband wanted to partake of the
festivities, but got a little worried when he heard
the broads actually had bathing suits on. Word is
that he finally came back home the next morning,
after the broads were good and gone from his home.
It seems to Bookie that there are a few ladies
who need some lessons in temperature, heat, and the
melting point of chocolate. There was an awful lot
of worry about some chocolate purchased in a town
certain town in Pennsylvania staying in its
original form. Even Bookie knows that chocolate
melts! And Bookie likes to do as little thinking as
possible that doesn’t involve men and the
activities that revolve around men.
New Jersey Broads know how to party! One broad
in particular was generous beyond belief donating
some very expensive champagne to the festivities.
Too bad that one of the older broads couldn’t hold
her spirits, and ended up holding up the wall. Not
only did NJ Broads donate spirits, but they also
brought cookies and nuts. Bookie thinks she likes
these broads best of all. But she does hear that
they got just a little carried away on their trip
home. Bookie hears the Maryland police were chasing
them all the way to the border. The tan bomber goes
FAST.
And who were those hit and run broads? The ones
that came and went so fast that Bookie barely had
time to gather any dirt on them. Bookie is not
above making up things ladies, so next time stick
around for a while. You know who you are, don’t
you? The ladies from Pennsylvania, the mom and the
daughter? Bookie likes meeting new people, it gives
her new things to talk about you know.
Speaking of running, just where did the two
blond broads go off to the first night? They drove
away in a white convertible, supposedly to get
something to imbibe, but Bookie noticed a certain
"glow" when they returned. Could they have maybe
stopped at the local naval base for a little deep
sea diving practice? Maybe the local Marines were
giving out free bugle lessons. Whatever they did,
they were much too happy when they returned to the
motel! And the way they both talked to Julian!
Bookie has the idea that these ladies are not so
innocent! And I do believe that some of the older
broads were just a little jealous of them. Bookie,
of course, has nothing to be jealous about. She is
perfect the way she is!
Bookie also hears that the youthful flight
attendant, conspicuous by her absence at the book
signing, was off in the woods with the male of our
species. Just friends, she claims! Hmmmm…
You know, Colorado is such a sleepy, serene
state, but the Colorado broads are anything but!
One of the Colorado broads was carrying around a
shirt all the time, sleeping with it, and even
rubbing it on her body. Just whose shirt was it,
you ask? Well, none other than the board Brawn
himself. Bookie hears that this broad’s roommates
lost sleep when she kept mumbling, "Julian,
Julian", in her sleep over and over. Bookie hears
the roomies will be bringing earplugs in the
future. The rumor is that they just don’t want to
hear all that moaning and groaning again, but
Bookie thinks they are just jealous.
And that other Colorado broad? Well, you know
that the quiet ones are always the most fun. Bookie
was pleased to see this blond living up to her
name. Not only does this Debby do Dallas, and
Dulles, and maybe even doughnuts, but she also does
Danville and Frederick and Boonsboro. Bookie hears
the men of these areas are erecting (and Bookie
doesn’t use this term loosely) a monument to the
Chili’s queen.
Illinois broads are the quiet and sleazy, um,
sleepy broads that you would think. One of them
kept mumbling something about California dreaming
the entire time she was there, and the other one
kept scoping out the buff bartenders in the area,
probably hoping for a free Corona or something.
Now, Bookie does not partake of beer, but she did
enjoy watching the ritual of the two Nancy broads
when drinking this particular brew. It seems to me
though, that shaking the drink so that it sprays
all over the other bar customers just shouldn’t be
part of the tradition. It seems just a little messy
to Bookie.
The doctor and his good wife seemed to have a
good time, it seemed to Bookie. They were seen
snuggling at dinner, and snuggling at the pool, and
snuggling at Boonsboro. Wait a minute, that is just
a little too much snuggling for old married
couples. Are we sure that they were really married?
Maybe the Phantom should check this out for sure.
And next year, Bookie wants to see all marriage
licenses of those couples who are co-habitating at
the festivities.
Husbands and wives were the fashionable thing at
TTP this year. Two husbands in particular caught
Bookie’s eye for being such good sports with
cameras. It isn’t everyday that men can shoot
twenty times in a row without taking a nap! Their
wives were very brave in bringing these men. The
rumor is that certain broads are not to be trusted
around ANY men, let alone good looking ones.
Well, that is Bookie’s report, ladies and
gentlemen. All this typing has bruised Bookie’s
delicate fingertips and chipped some of her nail
polish. She must be off to the spa to recover. Too
bad her evil boss lady won’t pay her more money.
She could use a massage, too.
Ciao until next time!
XOXOXOXOXO
Bookie
Bookie would LOVE to hear from you!
Her motto is, "Gossip is reality!"
E-mail her here @
bookie@adwoff.com
Bookie now has her own e-mail address!
:-) Keep her busy!
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