Ladies ...
Let me be the first to congratulate you on ONE
YEAR OF ADWOFF! What an accomplishment.
May I take a moment to introduce myself? I, dear
BB/N's, am Wolf ... Wolfie to my closest friends
(and I sincerely hope all of you will consider me
just that.) As the official mascot of ADWOFF, it
will be my job to make your smiles stretch from ear
to ear, to make you laugh till your sides ache, to
dispense advice on any subject that interests you,
and to answer any questions about your Queen and
her craft and the world in general.
It wasn't too long ago that I was a mere sparkle
in SueCBDR's eye. After all, ADWOFF was her baby -
still IS her baby. The title came from The Legend,
but once created, Sue pronounced it AdWOLF (of
course, I think it has more to do with some wolfish
character named Roarke ... you ladies heard of
him?) Of course, contrary Miz Wymzee pronounced it
Ad ... WOOF. Now, we all know that Sue is partial
to cats and Wym ... well, she's a D.P.I.D. (Dog
Person In Denial - she wants another pet, but won't
accept that fact.) If left to her, I'd look like
some too-cute-for-words puppy. Anyway, I digress.
When Sue decided that ADWOFF should have a
mascot, she went to graphic artist extraordinaire
Nancy, your very own Ottis5. Thus began the Wolf
Wars. First I was an original Ottis sketch. Sue
countered with a too realistic wolf (we can be a
rather imposing species) Opinionated Wym sat back
shaking her head (there is NO pleasing that women
... just ask the Banker!) For a short time, I was a
cartoon ... much too happy. For one shining moment,
I was a medieval wolf (thanks to Frolic's dh) and
held a sword high above my head (very phallic ... I
didn't mind ... we wolves can be very
single-minded.)
Then Wym found a picture of a real wolf ... very
alpha, very intense, very ... me. But not quite
good enough (whose idea was it for her to help
anyway?) In her fanciful mind, she pictured a wolf
with the cheekbones of Jared MacKade, the stare of
Rafe, the half-smile of Shane and the heart of
Devin. It was left to poor Ottis to make me a
reality. Sue, in the meantime, found a tux just my
size (rather debonair, don't you think?) I can't
tell you how many e-mails and IM's flew across the
country from Pennsylvania to Illinois to California
and back, and forth, and back, and forth ... His
neck's too thin, his neck's just right, too much
smile, not enough smile, ears are too pointy, ears
aren't pointed enough, let's shoot Wym, blue eyes
are perfect! he's got blue eyes? ... Yes. Blue. All
the better to see you with my dears.
So, here I am. Your Wolfie. Please write me in
care of ADWOFF. If you put my name in the subject
line, Sue will make sure I receive your letters. I
promise to answer any and all questions. I am a
well-rounded wolf with paws on experience in many
fields. For instance: Going on a first date and
don't know what to talk about? Trust, Wolfie. If
you talk only about yourself, your date will be
bored. If you start discussing all the people you
know, he'll take you for a gossip. Instead, talk
about him ... he'll think that you're perfect! Want
the best spot remover around? Use equal parts of
water, dishwashing liquid, and ammonia. Queen Nora
is a Libra. Oh, and swimming immediately after
eating is actually okay.
I leave you till next time ladies. Please write
me and see your letters printed in ADWOFF's newest
column ... A WOLF'S PERSPECTIVE. And if you
happen to hear a distant howling at a full moon,
listen carefully. It might be me singing
ADWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLF's praises.
Wolfie
ADWOFF > Newsletters > Edition
8 > Wolfie
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