NANCY AND HER TOOLS
By Nancy D
There really isn’t a lot to tell
about this, except that I just moved back into my
childhood home last year after my father died, and,
since I’ve always lived in apartments, I really
haven’t had a lot of experience with lawns, and
garden tools, and lawn mowers, and power tools, and
stuff like that.
Well, to say that I’m not
mechanical would be generous. I’ve managed to break
a riding tractor numerous times, knock my gate off
the hinges at least two times, break the hand mower
by running over a brick, wreck three weed whackers,
and cut a cord in half when I was trimming hedges.
All this has been documented on the board last
summer. (By the way, my neighbors think I’m
hysterical! They have rescued me more than once.)
I murdered two leaf blowers and
one leaf sucker upper thingy. I’ve killed a water
heater, the clothes dryer (twice), and broken the
garage door spring (it won’t open without one, not
even by hand! Did you know that?) two times. The
basement had to be waterproofed (leaked on 3
sides), and now I discover that my bathtub is
leaking into my basement.
So, when you hear jokes about
Nancy’s lawn boys, it’s because I need them, but I
refuse to get them! I am not going to let those
damn lawn tools win this war! When you hear
comments about all the repair guys at the house,
you’ll know it’s for a good reason. Nancy’s killed
another household appliance. (And besides, some of
those guys are darn cute!)
I bet my Dad is laughing his
butt off!
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